the Sad, Beautiful Images

March 23, 2017 | Another kinda sad post…because these photos held a lot of hope, promise, and happiness for me when they were taken. I even reached out to another photographer for the location, and I’ve never met her. But I wanted a special spot to create images that would announce our pregnancy to the world. The first attempt, I picked-up E from daycare ready with a dress, hair piggies, and a prop-stool. Yet the sun went behind the clouds so the result was fairly “flat” images that I didn’t love. Not to mention I only found 1 of the hair ties I packed, the dress was incredibly SHORT on this kid, and the wind kept exposing those undies!

Knowing that these blooms would only last a handful of days, I had to make plans to return quickly. THE NEXT DAY. This time I packed a different dress (her birthday party dress), better shoes, several hair ties, and our 12-week sonogram. The sun was out and it was just lovely. THIS was more what I had envisioned! Maybe not-so-much seeing her fall off the stool onto her head, popping a squat behind a tree to pee, knocking her in the head with my camera, or her running through the trees shouting “poo poo!!!”. But you know, taking it all in as part of the experience. She’s a blast.

And now the photos I have a hard time looking at, even still. Maybe I will forever? I didn’t tell her what they really were, because D and I decided to wait until I was really showing to tell her the news. It’s a blessing we did that, since it wasn’t meant to be, but I still kinda wish I could have heard her excitement at the sweet age of 3. I asked her what she thought the photos were, and she said “Raccoons!” I couldn’t make myself delete these images, so they will have a home here.

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